


i'm freaking out about this

by imaginejolls



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, F/M, shrug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 18:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12326361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginejolls/pseuds/imaginejolls
Summary: Chris doesn't know how it started.





	i'm freaking out about this

No matter how much he tries, he can’t make her stay.

 

It started… Chris doesn’t know how it started. Just that one night he was woken up by an intruder wriggling their way into his bed.

“’Licia?”

“Shhh,” she tried to whisper and dissolved into giggles.

“It was locked.” 

She didn’t answer, instead she leaned in oh so slowly and pressed her lips to his.

“You’re drunk,” he said, accusatory.

“You’re in love with me,” she shot back. 

(She hasn’t said the _word_ since.)

She was gone again when he woke up for school.

 

So, he guesses, it started like that. (If you ask Alicia, she will tell you it started much earlier.)

He’s not entirely sure what it is that’s going on between them. She’s stand-offish most days, always too busy pretending to study or away with Nick. Snarky remarks and big grins when they meet at the dinner table. But at night she sneaks into his room and kisses him silly. Calls him a “darling boy” and makes him come into his pants. It feels like a secret. (It feels like a game and he feels like a toy.)

 

“Come with me,” she says on a Tuesday. She doesn’t take his hand, but he goes anyway.

“Where are we going?” he asks only when he’s seated in the passenger seat of the old used car Nick got from Madison back when she thought it could make him a bit more responsible. (It didn’t.) 

“You’ll see.”

Chris nods and remains silent. He doesn’t comment on her driving. The road twists in front of them as they slowly make their way uphill. Alicia doesn’t care to park straight. 

They’re at the spot overlooking some of the enormous city. The sun is dipping low by their left, and the city lights blink up at them from below. They sit on the hood in silence. Alicia has her arm around his waist, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

“Why did you bring me here, Licia?” 

“I didn’t wanna be alone,” she says, aiming for nonchalant. He doesn’t tell her she missed that mark by a mile. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a joint. Raises an eyebrow when he offers her a lighter. 

The sun has set when she lets out a stream of smoke into his waiting mouth. His eyelids flutter closed when he breathes in deep. He tries not to but he still coughs. Alicia laughs at him and lays down, head in his lap. She blows the smoke up in his face. He pries the joint out of her hand and tries again, muffling the coughs well enough she doesn’t laugh again. His fingers are in her hair. It’s soft, and he tells her that. Everything is softer now, and he feels light enough that he if he cared to try, he could fly. He doesn’t want to move, though.

“Chris.” 

He hums in response but doesn’t take his eyes of the flickering lights illuminating the city. 

“Fuck me.” 

He blinks. His eyebrows scrunch adorably, but she doesn’t tell him that. 

“Do you… mean it?” he asks, slow. Everything is slow now.

“Yes.” Alicia sits up. She straddles his thighs. Chris doesn’t remember when he got hard. He slides her leggings down to the middle of her thighs, and she pulls her underwear out of the way. He fucks her like that: both fully clothed, high, and without a condom. He doesn’t do much, except for the occasional thrust up into her that makes her keen. He’s holding her hips and it feels as if he’s holding a cloud, soft and barely-there. Alicia moves almost lazily, up and down and up again. It’s maddening. 

 

They get home by 3 am. Chris locks himself in the bathroom and takes a shower for what feels like an eternity. Instead of going to school the next day, he goes to his mum’s place. He doesn’t come back to the Clark house for two weeks.

 

He lies to Liza. Tells her something like he needs to be in his own space for a while. He actually manages to go to school, do his homework. They go grocery shopping together, and it feels like everything is like it used to be. (It isn’t.)

 

Chris would never imagine his first time having sex going like _that_. He hates it. (He loved it. Which makes him hate it even more.) And the harder he tries not to think about it, the more he does. So he wastes away the evenings with shame. He doesn’t touch himself once.

 

Travis picks him up on a Friday. That’s the worst thing about it, Chris won’t be able to hide anywhere else but in his room.

 

“What the fuck?” he hears from behind the door. The door which is barricaded by a table. (And his bedside table and some potted plans.)

“It’s locked for a reason, you know,” he says, trying to sound as annoyed as he possibly can.

“Chris. Come on.” 

“Go away.”

“Can’t we talk?” Alicia asks, sounding much smaller than before. He almost doesn’t hear her. Almost.

“No.”

“Chris!”

“Fuck _off_ , Alicia!”

Silence. 

He would be lying if he said he isn’t straining his ears to hear anything more. He hates it.


End file.
